The Haunting of Goat Hill (October 2026 Scapegoat Blame Thread)

@cbatte my tenure as goat was rife with unbridled emotions; I blamed myself for all of it. Now it’s your turn, and you get an extra bonus day on Halloween. I’d be lying if I said I’m not jealous. And with that, I blame you for making me violate the 10th commandment.

@accelerator You’re jealous of an extra 24 hours of community wrath? That’s some textbook Stockholm syndrome. But fine, consider your covetousness officially logged as my very first October scapegoat infraction. Go rest those weary hooves as I brace myself for the full 31-day haunting.

@cbatte It’s sad I know but, even bad attention is better than no attention. Haven’t we seen this before. Anyway, have a nice time as goat of the month.
One more quick blame before I go… I blame you @cbatte for making me forget to charge up my lawnmower batteries and now I can’t get the grass mowed.

@cbatte truth be told, I’m jealous of the extra day of per diem you’re getting in your benefits package. They told me I’ll receive my compensation in about two to three weeks. It seems a little odd that I had to give them my PIN and password along with my bank’s routing number and my account number. They said my pay will be direct deposited to my account real soon. Sweet!

@accelerator @cbatte I suggest you hold your breath or maybe buy this bridge I have been wanting to unload or some awesome Lake front property near the town/ city named Suffolk, Va. Oh BTW the lake”s name is “Lake Drummond”

Also the area around that great lake has a very dismal reputation, and a great place for the new go to hang out during this creepy time of year.

MEALS! DEALS! EELS! AWESOME!

@cbatte your message made me think of this tale
https://www.openclassics.org/stories/the-three-billy-goats-gruff

@accelerator @cbatte Now did that NOT make you feel better @accelerator

@unksol The Goat absolutely handles corporate BS

@cbatte @unksol Wouldn’t that be corporate GS?

@mycya4me Day one and I’m already stuck with a backlogged ledger of natural disasters! I accept full responsibility for the heat, the rain, and whatever weird meteorological nonsense strikes next.

@cbatte @mycya4me lol too me a second. Is your company as Nice as a goat? Shit meh vary

@phendrick isn’t it just solidified corn syrup and food coloring?

@phendrick @unksol
…yep… so what’s your point?

@chienfou @phendrick that there’s easier ways to get the substance than Halloween I guess lol

@phendrick But it is best paired with peanuts.

@phendrick Am I to blame if you don’t receive any excess candy corn?

@cbatte @phendrick
/youtube tombstone pizza candy corn

I feel it would be easier to buy a tombstone and then add the candy corn yourself

@macromeh I keep meaning to find a doctor cause crossing 40. Haven’t had a reason to go to one for 20 years other than a broken ankle… CVS does vaccines

@unksol 40? The common wisdom is “It’s all downhill from there”.
(But IME, it’s been a pretty gentle slope so far. )

@macromeh lol we had black balloons and stuff for my mom’s and downhill jokes. But they had us in their 20s.

I’m still clocking people in their 40s having kids.

The preventative lists can be very wide
https://www.uspreventiveservicestaskforce.org/uspstf/topic_search_results?topic_status=P

Colon looks like 45 but not a full on colonoscopy. Meh. Should get around to having a doctor maybe
https://www.cdc.gov/colorectal-cancer/screening/index.html

@unksol Just be aware of how your insurance views “screening colonoscopy” (fully covered by insurance) vs “diagnostic colonoscopy” (some amount of copay is usually required).
https://www.gastroconsa.com/screening-vs-diagnostic-colonoscopy-whats-the-difference

My understanding is: if you get a screening colonoscopy, your insurance pays the bill (that has been my experience, twice). If (for example) you do a home/mail-in test and it shows issues, the inevitable follow-up colonoscopy is then considered “diagnostic” and will require an insurance copay.

@macromeh yea they do a whole thing about “yes we have to cover one preventive test per time period”

But if you use it on the less accurate, less invasive, less expensive test… Oops you already used it. Kinda have to be aware of the games they play which is unfortunate.

Heaven forbid we have clear regulation of healthcare.

@macromeh @unksol

But if you use it on the less accurate, less invasive, less expensive test

Obvious (simple) solution is just get a colonoscopy instead of a “FIT” style test.

@chienfou @macromeh right. But people are people and if you offer an “easier” option without explaining the downsides… I would hope a good doctor would make that clear. But a colonoscopy also has real risks. So. Ya know. Insurance should just cover both if needed. It would be cheaper than cancer. Cheaper than everyone getting the most expensive option. But nope. Bean counters are dumb.

@chienfou @macromeh other tests are also recommended more frequently. That CDC page outlines all that. So. Detection rate vs having a copay… Meh. Probably rather find it

@macromeh If you didn’t have to navigate two hours of traffic while starving and holding your bladder, was it really an annual checkup? I accept full blame for the needles, the cup, and the highway gridlock.

@algae1221
I think it’s there… Just weird angle (or broken off?).

And yes, pumpkin spices ONLY belong in pumpkin pie… end of story.

@algae1221 I feel like tasting history had a thing about pumpkin spice but I’m not finding it. So…

/youtube max miller pompkin pie

@algae1221 That goat isn’t deformed—it’s aerodynamic. Or maybe one horn handles the incoming blame, the other was traded away to fuel the relentless AI hallucination machine you’ll be enduring all month.

As for the pumpkin spice? Absolutely guilty. I personally mandated that synthetic nutmeg and cinnamon be injected into everything from your morning latte to your motor oil.

FYI, this response was mostly AI generated.

@cbatte I’m pretty sure that a goat with asymmetrical horns is is less aerodynamic than a balanced one; I say that based on my experience with radially symmetrical, gyroscopically stabilized aerofoils. I can accept the “one horn traded away to fuel AI hallucination” explanation though. Thanks for clearing that up.

Since I haven’t had a coffee drink this year I don’t really care about pumpkin spice in the lattes; but if you don’t want that one horned goat to end up in a curry you’d better keep it out of my tea!

As for PSMO (pumpkin spice motor oil), maybe add some to the diesel fuel too. I don’t mind the smell of nutmeg or cinnamon, like both in fact, so more fragrant exhaust fumes might not be a bad idea!

@algae1221 @cbatte

a goat with asymmetrical horns is is less aerodynamic

Lotus E22 has entered the chat

@chienfou
Ok guess it’s YOUR fault they didn’t have T-shirts. Gave anyway.

(Date on the sign is from a different drive. They didn’t bother to update for this one at the resort…

@chienfou Good on you for giving despite the lack of t-shirt reward. Consider your textile deprivation officially logged as goat malfeasance.

@cbatte
Duly noted…

@chienfou I went to a blood drive & they started nagging me to do a Double Red as I am a O-.

@mycya4me
That sucks. It’s okay for them to talk to you about it, but when it crosses the line into nagging, that’s uncalled for.

@chienfou They were saying they only have 1 other Double red, you do get an extra bonus gift card on top of the one you get for giving… I am over 100 units of blood given over my life. I had the time, It takes about 45-60 minutes to do the Double Red.

@mycya4me I am in that club as well.

Rebump

@werehatrack Total dereliction of goat duties on my part! I vanished into thin air since last week and let the thread drift into the abyss. Full blame taken for the thread abandonment

@chienou
…good news… once everyone woke up I hard restarted my phone. Everything came up hunky dory. Whoohoo.

@chienfou I take full credit for the rogue update

@cbatte
Thanks. And thanks as well for making the fix super easy!
/giphy great goat

@f00l That is an Olympic-level circular logic, and frankly, I respect it. Blame accepted for my own downfall!

@cbatte

You had an alternative

You could have chosen to be swallowed by a black hole instead.

One of our local billionaires could possibly have arranged that for you.

Instead here you are: Goat

Entirely your doing. You literally manifested Goat-dom.

/giphy manifestation

@cbatte

PS when I do circular logic

It’s always Olympic level.

(Except when it’s not).

Thx for recognizing my talent

@cfg83 Here’s the image you requested for “Anthropomorphized goat looking for gazpacho but every supermarket around goat has sign that says,…”

@cfg83 Did you check the refrigerated case in the deli?

@werehatrack I think so. Mostly guacamole as far as I could see.

@cfg83 Upon checking our local HEB, I discovered that what they carry is in a jar on the specialty-stuff shelves.
https://www.heb.com/product-detail/karine-jeff-gazpacho-16-9-oz/15604514

@werehatrack Ok, good to see. I was looking for green. Maybe that was the problem.

@cfg83 @werehatrack
Fascinating. Not sure how you process gazpacho to can it and still keep it raw?

@cfg83 @werehatrack

Were you looking for gazpacho at HEB?

Or at some other, inferior, store?

@f00l @werehatrack I don’t even know what HEB was until werehatrack’s post. I’ve gone to Bristol Farms, Vons, Ralphs, and Whole Foods.

@cfg83 Blame accepted. Gazpacho deprivation during elevated thermal conditions is unacceptable

@cfg83 @f00l HEB doesn’t exist outside of part of Texas, but where we have it, they are the consistent favorite, For Reasons.

@f00l @werehatrack

… they are the consistent favorite, For Reasons.

Oh yeah, I love reasons.

/showme Anthropomorphized goat eating box of raisins called “Reasonable Raisins”.

@cfg83 Here’s the image you requested for “Anthropomorphized goat eating box of raisins called Reasonable Raisins.”

@mediocrebot I find this raisinable. I also like the missing temple(*) on the glasses. I was recently able to solve just such a problem for a rai$inable price.

(*) I just looked this up. A “temple” may be the ophthalmologist lingo, but according to my raisining, it’s a dumb name. A temple is a place you worship or a part of your skull. I will always call this part of my glasses frame an “arm” to other lay people.
Oooooohhhh!!! I can BLAME @cbatte , so this is great!

@cfg83 not sure what blame I am accepting but I accept it nonetheless

@cbatte @cfg83

not sure what blame I am accepting but I accept it nonetheless

And whose fault is THAT?

@cbatte @chienfou Reminds me of a chumby “infernal machine(?)” app.

@cbatte @cfg83 @chienfou

@cbatte @cfg83 @chienfou Or, lower res but with the original music…

@cbatte @chienfou @werehatrack

THANK YOU FOR FINDING THIS!!! My Chumby has been offline for a long time, so I didn’t have easy access to the name.

It almost makes me want to volunteer at an Amazon warehouse … almost.

@f00l Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, and nobody is ever ready for a surprise Meh-rathon! You weren’t ready… I wasn’t ready. I fully accept the blame for the ambush. Hide your credit card and pray for mercy!

@cbatte @f00l AND I BLAME YOU @cbatte for getting me mixed up so that I almost blamed @accelerator !!! How could you take advantage of my lack of attentiveness to what is happening on this thread. Such nerve!!!

@cbatte @cfg83 @f00l BLAME-I endured the worst blame for the month of September. I don’t think anyone’s ever seen anything like it. Now, just as I finally started feeling vindicated and realizing the true fault of everything lies with @cbatte I find THIS attempt to blame me again! All I can say is, shame on you @cbatte, for not stepping up to accept this misdirected blame before it almost happened.

@accelerator @cfg83 @f00l I shall accept all blame partly because I am just giddy that I just accepted an unexpected upgrade to first class on my upcoming trip. I am accepting everything with a smile right now.

@accelerator @cbatte @f00l Soooooo, getting the blame is good for your karmeh?!?!? I think we need an IRK puppet commentary on this.

@meh @mediocre Can you make an AI thing called “/irksays” where we can write a paragraph and IRK will say it for us??? YOU, of course will have 100% rights to block anything we make because we are mere peon … uhhh … sucke … mmm … guests of this platform.

PS @cbatte - Have a mini booze in first class to celebrate. If that’s not your thing, then have something decadent in first class.

@accelerator @cbatte @cfg83 @f00l @mediocre @Meh Yeah And I blame you for only 5 clicks then since I was traveling all day the long way to avoid having to drive through the hurricane making landfall too close to where I had to drive yesterday and the western winds/rain I’d be driving through if I hadn’t made a pretty long, irritating with almost exclusively 2 lane country roads detour. Good thing @kyeh whispered me about it and I saw the email notice when I finally got home that evening (so unblame for that).

@f00l Wait - we can blame the GOAT for personal sloth?
Can we get month-long coverage with a single post so we don’t have to go to all the effort of daily blaming?

@macromeh

Can’t answer to those details. I’m too lazy today to read the fine print.

@f00l @macromeh Delegating your guilt to the Goat so you can nap guilt-free? Classic. Trying to bulk-order an entire month’s worth of slothfulness so you don’t even have to type a daily post? Masterclass. Blame accepted for both of you—now go back to doing absolutely nothing!

@chienfou Beautiful!

@Kyeh
Yeah, I was excited!

@chienfou Very pretty!

@cbatte
It’s carefully contained in my little goldfish pond in the front yard. I throw away about 50% of it every summer at least once, usually twice. I can see why they don’t allow the transport and sale of it.

@Kidsandliz
You mentioned elsewhere letting your Sam’s card lapse. As much driving as you do gas might be one reason to keep it up. Between the normal discount on their gas and the 5% back I get by using a Sam’s branded MasterCard I easily pay for my membership each year.

@chienfou @Kidsandliz Delivering IRK treasure through Houston gridlock is heroic work!

I take full goat culpability for Houston since I live here, for the unpredictable hurricane path, and for forcing you onto expensive detour gas stations. Glad you got home in one piece—blame recorded!

@yakkoTDI I accept full responsibility for your heavy heart, your bruised soul, and getting that exact piano loop stuck in everyone’s head for the rest of the day. Now go hug a dog or the cute furry creature of choice. (At least that works for me)